Project Momma: 18 weeks

When Molly was 4 weeks old, I went to my doctor for my follow-up appointment. He said that I should keep hydrated and be sure not to cut out too many calories, or my milk would not be nutritious and thick enough for my baby.  In fact, he said I should be eating an extra 500 calories a day for my milk supply.  I thought that sounded a little extreme, but he assured me that my weight loss shouldn't be more than about a pound a week.

I've thought about that advice as I have been on this healthy and happy journey.  I recognize that my knee injury has kept me from running as much as I would have liked to.  I have tried to exercise as much as my knee would let me, but I know it's not as intense as I have done before.  I recognize that that is also most likely a major reason I have not seen the weight come off as quickly this round.  Unfortunately, I am not one of those moms where the weight just "falls off" if they breastfeed.

I'm sure that many people have wondered why I haven't cut more calories to lose more weight.  It would be "easy" to not eat sugar at all, or to eat 1400 calories a day.  Here are a couple of reasons why I haven't done that.

1. Not sustainable- I know that I could not go the rest of my life without sugar.  I would eventually begin eating it again, and may feel guilty, and would most likely re-gain weight.

2. Milk production- While breastfeeding my previous two kids, my milk would begin to thin out when my baby was about three months.  Liam only gained 1/2 a pound between 4 and 6 months. I felt awful.  So with Molly, I wanted to do everything I could to keep my milk supply thick enough for her. Burning too many calories through exercise or cutting too many calories in my food intake could have been the culprit for thinning it out before.

This chunky monkey weighed in at 16 pounds today, 88th percentile for her age in weight.  My other kids were never even in the 70th percentile for weight, maybe 60's.  Today the doctor said she looked perfect.  I recognize that thinner babies can still be healthy and perfect, but I have felt better this time around knowing that she has that extra weight and I have done everything I can for my baby.

Ten years ago I was a full-time missionary in Southern France.  When I left, I was in good shape and at one of my lowest weights.  During those 18 months, I did not have much time for exercise, and often did not have control over my meals.  I always shopped and cooked with my companion (roommate) and was hosted by many wonderful French families with amazing food.  I may have also fallen for Nutella and peanut butter toast.  It's amazing.

I gained quite a bit of weight a couple of different times through that year and a half.  It was really frustrating to not have the time to exercise and not eat as healthy as I would have liked.  However, I remember one day, I realized that I had dedicated that time as a missionary to the Lord, not to staying in shape.  As soon as I was able to let go of that, I gave the Lord everything I had.

I think about that experience now as a mom.  This is the third time in less than 5 years that I have gained 40 pounds and tried to lose it.  This is not my time to be an Olympic athlete or a bikini model- that will be my next life ;) This is my time to raise healthy, righteous children of God.  I want them to know that I love them and that I want what's best for them.  I want them to remember me enjoying a treat with them for Family Home Evening or going out for burgers and ice cream on the weekends.  I'm also really careful about talking negatively about my body.  If I want my daughters to grow up respecting their bodies, I need to show them that I love and respect mine.

Happy Moments

Ryan was out of town for half the week.  Taking care of three kids as a single mom is not super easy.  I needed to focus on creating as many happy moments as I could in order to keep some sanity and still let my children know that I love them.  I wasn't very dedicated at writing down my goals this week, but here are a few of my happy moments I created:

Spontaneous trip to the elementary school talent show (my kids loved it)
Cleaned the bathrooms
Breakfast with friends at a local French cafe
Kept house mostly clean while Ryan was out of town
Date night Friday night- tennis with my hubby then dinner with friends
Relief Society (Women's) Stake education day- (i.e.: no kids, fun classes, and friends for almost 6 hours)
Date night Saturday night- dinner and a movie with friends

I thrive on social situations.  Especially while being alone with my kids half the week, making time to be with other adults is really important for my happy moments.

Upcoming Goals 
I met my 7 treats again this week!!!! However, I think there were days that I could have gone without, but I had one because I knew I could.  So, I want to shoot for 5 treats this week.  This is huge for me.  There were so many times this week when I didn't eat a cookie, or candy, etc. because I didn't want that to be my treat for the day.  You begin to realize what you really like and what you might be eating just because it's there.

I am scheduled to start teaching at the gym again next week!!! I start off on Tuesday morning teaching Body Pump at 8:30 am followed by another cardio/strength class at 9:30.  I'm not sure that I will be able to get through those without trying to do a couple of 2-hour workouts before then.  So, that's my goal for this week- at least two 2-hour workouts.

I also need to work on my bedtime and wake-up time.  11:00 pm and 6:30 am.  I know I feel better when I make those goals happen.